Reflections
by Creatureofthedark
Summary: a little oneshot of Lee out at the farm. takes place during "Darkest Room". just needed something new to write. kinda/sorta songfic. info inside.


**short little thing because i need something different to write. what's weird is that when typing this, i was listening to a soundtrack that fit right with it. i edited it a little afterwards to make it fit more, though it might not work if you read faster or slower than me. if you want to read it with the music, here's the link:**

youtube .com/watch?v=KipLbRkmehY

**Reflections**

The trees blow gently with the breeze that blows through the night, the stars shining brightly above them, the moon's light shining down on them, creating a beautiful glow around every leaf. The cool air touches my face, making me pull my blanket closer around my shoulders as I watch the moving branches.

I wish again for the warmth that I don't have with me. The warmth I will always want. The warmth that is hours away, but I know could be here in a moment's notice if I asked him to come. But I can't.

I sit here on the porch roof of the farmhouse, reflecting on everything that's happened. The dreams, the fight, that sleepless night, and the fight that had actually been the reason I'm out here now. When I had hurt him. Hit him. On purpose.

_A flash of my fist hitting his face._

That had been the breaking point. And that is why I'm here now.

Out here in the beautiful country, the darkness is my only company. The wind my only friend. The wolves howling in the distance my only source of peace. Because in my head, I'm in turmoil. I don't know who I am anymore.

I used to know. I used to be perfectly fine in who I was. How I acted. What I liked and didn't like. But now it's all running together. I don't know if it's me that likes or does the stuff I do, or the other side to me I hate. The one who is trying to break out. The one I need to get rid of. Because she's evil. That's all there is to it.

My mind travels back to how it used to be. How I used to do everything with everyone. I remember the way life was perfect. Sure there were fights, and there were scares. But through it all, I remember the smiles,

_A flash of Donnie and Leo._

the laughs,

_A fleeting image of Mikey_.

the affection.

_Raph._

It's all too surreal to think about now. It's hard to think that it even existed.

_A flash of all of us, laughing, throwing popcorn at each other, the movie still playing, forgotten._

Everything was perfect.

_A flash of Raph's face. His eyes shining gold as he looks at me. His face set, but not serious. Just thoughtful._

He was perfect. And I hurt him.

_The echo of my fist meeting his face._

The one person who always made me happy.

_Raph smiling, his eyes flashing with happiness as he breaks out of his character and tickles me._

I love him.

_The memories fade way._

So that's why I'm out here. To reflect on myself and get myself back to normal. So I can see him again.

About three hours away…

The cars drive by on the freeway, the lights going on for miles out into the hills. The country. All the red taillights reflecting the direction I want to go. And all the headlights reflecting who I want to be coming this way. Red and white. Two opposites. Her and I.

My bandana tails are blown back, off of my shoulders, and I vaguely wonder if she's getting the same breeze. That swiftly leads my mind down the highway in front of me, to where I know she is. Is she warm? Does she have a blanket? Is she okay? Is she thinking about me? Does she miss me?

I hear a horn, and watch as the red taillights start backing up. Getting closer together. Blocking the way for others to go that way. The way I feel right now. Blocked. Held back. Because she needs to be alone. So I sit here, wishing I could be with her.

I hold my phone in my hand, wishing desperately that she'll want to come home sooner than she thought. But I know that won't happen. And as I listen to the cars drive by, and look up to the stars barely visible because of the lights, I wish I were there with her, getting the peace she must be getting too.

Hearing the sounds she must be hearing.

_The howling of the wolves in the distance._

Seeing the stars much better than this.

_The moon surrounded by the stars, shining brightly above the trees._

Sitting out on the roof of the farmhouse instead of out here by the freeway.

_Her in my arms, under my chin, talking on the roof._

Having her against me instead of sitting alone.

_The warmth of her body against mine._

All memories of the farmhouse. Our perfect place. And I can't help but wonder if right now, she's thinking the total opposite. Of me. Of here. The noisy city instead of the peaceful country. If she's thinking of where we are while I think of where she is. It would be ironic if I were right.

I close my eyes, letting everything around me fade away. I focus on what I want to do. And then I can see her. Sitting on the roof. The… blanket from the bed around her shoulders. Where my arms should be. Looking at the sky. Thinking of me. Like I am of her. Her hair blowing back with the breeze that will eventually reach me.

But in my mind, she's not alone. I'm with her. I walk up behind her, putting a hand to her shoulder. She smiles, not turning around, as I wrap my arms around her and pull her and the blanket into my lap. Her eyes close as she sighs. I sigh too as I rest my head where it belongs. On her shoulder. And we sit there together.

I don't open my eyes for a longtime. When I do, I smile. That short time, I was with her. And that will hold me until she tells me she's coming home.

About three hours away…

I smile, my eyes closed, as I feel a familiar presence surround me. I sigh as I am suddenly warm, held by the arms I wish were here. For a few minutes, I'm in my perfect spot. I'm in his arms, yet still alone and able to reflect on everything. I am perfectly happy. At least until I can see him again.

* * *

**i think it fit real well. how it changed it's sound when the story changed it's location. i think the second part sounds like the city. That's what really caught my attention and why i started fitting it to the music.**


End file.
